I'll be leaving for UK in another 10 hours. ): I'm feeling rather scared. There are so many 'what ifs' going on in my head. I really hope I'll fit in there. I'll miss everyone here. & I'll definitely miss you* more... Bye bloggie, will log back in again when I'm in UK. *sighs*
Stop asking me how I feel about going over to UK, people. Honestly, I dunno. I dunno what or how I'm supposed to feel. Well, I don't feel anything yet, but I'm sure those nerve-racking feelings will come soon enough since there's only 3 days left before I'm gonna fly off. *sighs* I hope I don't cry too much...
Christmas came & went just like that. I don't find it special, in fact, it's just like every other days to me. Stayed at home the whole day on Christmas & spent my time watching movies at home on the laptop. I think I watched 5! lol! Started off with Made of Honour, The Love Guru, The House Bunny, Definitely Maybe then lastly Connected. I'd say it's pretty fun & peaceful. I didn't have to think or worry 'bout anything; I laughed most of the time. It's a good thing I guess. (: That's the amazing part of watching romantic comedies, they never failed to crack me up & make me forget about all the pain. ;p
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I'll be going to pasar malam later with him. I dunno what I should feel about that too. I think it's gonna be the same as usual but just a tiny bit different, I suppose... What am I saying, it's never gonna be the same. But oh well, this is life, what's meant to happen has to happen. I just need to accept just the way it is.
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It's the 31st tmr. Wow, time sure flies. I really wanna go for the New Year countdown but dad said he's tired & all. *sighs* I didn't even go for last year's... & I don't have any other friends to go with, they prolly have plans. Even the cousin wanna go, but there's no one in particular who can really bring us there. How pathetic. *sighs* I hope things'll turn around tmr. *fingers crossed*
Some friends can be the stupidest people on earth.
I thought that friends are the people whom I can trust & depend on, but things are the other way round instead. I may not be the material for a Chinese-act sorta friend but still, I'm a person with dignity & pride. I still believe that the most essential elements in a TRUE (yes, note that i bold & enlarge 'true') friendship are loyalty & respect. God damn it, RESPECT is the freaking most important thing. If you guys really think that being all friendly & nice, or worse, PRETENDING to be nice is gonna get my attention & let my guard down, good for you guys then, y'all fucking got me. I pretty much see your true colours now; I guess 3 years can change everything huh? Well, now, I really don't give a damn to who you people have become. You guys have really proven me of what "great friends" you people are. Yeah, you fucking shown it! Thanks for all the troubles you've put me through from sending your stuff all the way to town & getting fined as well. Not to mention by ditching me too; don't you guys have a lil' self-respect at least? If you don't want me there, just fucking say it. Why wanna drag the time to the very last minute? Damn pathetic, okay! You think I have all the freaking god damn time? I have other better friends to hang out with & getting my chores done. & if I were to predict this would happen, I won't even bother showing up. Seriously, if I were you people, I'll dig a hole & hide there for the rest of my life.
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Well, I've changed as well in these 3 years, but I think I've changed in a way far better than before to be a wiser, more matured, sensible & more outgoing person. & I honestly have to thank my friends from KL & also waiyi who were & STILL are there for me whenever & wherever I am, from cheering me up to making me so mad! lol! Now, I know why I can't call JB my home even though I thought it is; KL is my home, where I truly belong, my birthplace... it's in my blood & soul...
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Names are not stated, but if any of you* happen to come across my blog, read it & know who & what I'm referring to, well, I hope it makes you* realise the state you guys have put me through. & honestly, I won't give a flying fuck about how you* feel now. I'm through with you people!
signed out*
Sometimes, you gotta be tougher than you really are. You will not know what's gonna happen next. & sadly, the news can just slap you right across the face with no sign of warning.
I know I'm a lil' late to say "SPM's FREAKING OVER!" now. But, heck, I'm too happy to actually blog about it & I rather use those free time to go shopping & hang out instead. Those sleepless nights for the big exams were really worth it. God knows what's gonna happen when results' out next year. Oh well, it's not the time to fret 'bout exams now...
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It's almost a week since I finished my papers; been shopping & going out alot lately. & I finally got the stuffs that I anticipated for! A new phone & a laptop! *jumps for joy* :D I got a new Sony Vaio & it's the princess pink edition! I can bid farewell to my old Sony Ericsson Z530i & welcome my new Sony Ericsson C905! *squeals* My parents can pamper me alot sometimes... *sigh happily* lol!
Cousin's back from Australia; stayed over her place for 5 days. & I'm missing her laughter & her jokes. Hopefully I'll get to spend some more time with her before leaving for UK. =/ this is definitely gonna be tough. I'm excited to start a new life being in college & everything, learning new stuffs; but there's a part of me that I'm worried of what my path is gonna be... I suppose I just have to wait & see.
I hate my boyfriend sometimes.
When I thought freedom is within my reach, it had to drift few inches further to remind me that I still have to stretch a lil' more to grasp hold of it. Pathetic-ism.
Trials started on the 2nd of September.
Just when I thought it was all over after 2 long weeks of sleepless nights & paper cuts, everything had to start from scratch tomorrow.
Half down, another half to go.
Fingers-tightly-crossed.
