Full-Stop

Now that I know wishes don't actually come true, well, I suppose fairy-tales don't either. You put a full-stop half way through the chapters... Who am I to change everything? & I thought that you're everything I've got. I thought you're the reason for everything. I guess I was very wrong...

*

Goodness, Ying Wen, you're worth more. Stop thinking yourself as a cheap & shallow person. I have friends & families that care. I do not need to linger on the past. A past that will always haunt me nonetheless. But I guess I have to deal with it. I have to be the happy person again. Walk on a fresh & brighter path, I deserve more. I deserve better. *toast to a new beginning*

Yeah...

Merry Christmas, Ying Wen.

& now there's only me.

PMS

i'm one day late.

emo-fied.

Irreversible

is it me? or are things starting to change in a blink of an eye(okay, maybe not just a blink)? but still, things aren't the same. & it's bothering me in a way that makes me feel so insecure. i don't feel the warmth that i used to feel before. i'm falling deeper into an endless pit. i wish time could just stop. needless to say, for the past few days, i'm always depressed. but all i can do is just fake it with a smile & let the world know that i'm okay. am i really okay? that, i can't even answer it truthfully. sometimes, i wonder if god is working his mysterious ways to put me through all these? to be frank, i have enough of everything. the people. work. & life. i just wonder when will it end.

Shitty People

i feel so depressed. ): i wish things were better or at least i hope that she's not so problematic. but i guess, the more i hope & wish for something, the harder it'll be fulfilled. i may be a happy go lucky girl from the outside at times, laughing things off & not get pissed off that easily. but on the inside, honestly, i don't even know who i am. i'm numbed from the pain that i've went through; i guess you can say that i'm immuned to it. however, being a sensitive girl that i am, scars will always bleed & nvr heal.

*

everything is written in god's book, no matter how hard you try to prevent or intervene it, it'll still happen. it's fate. what fate can do is not in our control.

i am so frustrated!

*

i'm not ready for prom.

=/


sigh.

*

things haven't been going my way & i don't like the feeling of being alone.

*

yay, waiyi is sleeping ovr at my place tmr! i can't wait!
girly talks & more gossips!!! :D
i can feel myself grinning non-stop.

giler lah.

I am so not ready.

daddy's finally back from good ol' nigeria. after all these months.

6 months to be precise.

tsk tsk, it's been a loooonnnggg time.
it's great to see him again.

nvr thought that i'll miss him that much.

*shy away*

:D

well, that's all for now. day's been boring. i need something better to do than sit around at home when i don't have tuition classes especially.

i wanna be else where than home.

i wanna go out.
):

*
he's having his 6 hours driving class today, can't even go out with him.

can't even go out with waiyi. )):

i'm missing him already.

things aren't the same.

[ 8.12.07 ]



another month has passed. & it's already 8 months being together with you.

life can be so unpredictable when you fall for the one. i dunno how long this will last, but i hope it'll be long enough to make me happy. (:
i love you.

8 months & counting on...

***

anyways, we went to midvalley today. was supposed to go with mom but she decided to ditch me & head off to Parkson. wth.

typical mom. -.-

went to body shop at first & stupid sales lady bloody conned me! =/ i've got coupons for certain items in body shop. so, basically normal ppl like us would think that the coupons are to redeem those items. & of course, i did ask the sales lady a few times to confirm it. & she said yes!
YES!

i grab the stuffs that i wanted & head off to the cashier. i thought the total of it would be about $100+ but nooooo...
it was fricking $235!

my eyes went crazie big! i didn't expect it to be that much. & worse mom didn't come with me, i had only 170++ in my purse. )': how i wish the atm card is still with me...
so i told her that i just want the black & glitter eyeliner. it's $77 for both.

so much for smiling-wide-in-the-end-of-the-day.

wth.

sighs!

):

watched enchanted with him. the 3rd time i'm watching it! lol! but it's a good movie & i don't mind. besides, he hasn't watch it yet. so, decided to accompany him. :D i'm a good girlfriend, yes? *perasan-ing*

that's pretty much it. day has been quite short. had tuition in the morning. reached midvalley at 3.15. didn't get to shop around much. oh well.

***

sometimes, a person's patience has its limit. you went beyond it & i had enough. if you insist it is me. fine, it's me. but it's only because i'm nice enough to say "it's me". if it was someone else, you won't always win & get what you want. after all, i'll just walk away & accept that you need someone to take the blame.



signed out *

p.s: i wanna go christmas shopping. (:

i'm sorry.

)':

things are not the same anymore.



lost in my own world`



when can all this be over?

a walk to remember `


truth has finally been told, yet why am i filled with doubts?
life's difficult but i still need to go thru' it.
things happened for a reason.

i don't wanna go on the wrong path anymore.
please, show me the way.

- to witness a miracle -

signed out *

listen to my thoughts; sing it back to me`



i'm bored. i guess skipping school wasn't a great idea afterall. but still, most of my friends are not in school either. it won't make a difference by going.

i need entertainment!
=/

***



whatever it is, something's bothering me. i'm in denial again. what is wrong with me?!
why is everything turning around again? i guess, things are meant to happen yet, i feel so trapped and lost.



or.
maybe, i'm just thinking too much and making things up in my mind assuming that everything was like that which might not actually be that way. i'm just making things more complicated. maybe, i'm over-thinking stuffs.

those hints and words are driving me up the wall.



what do you want from me?
i'm trying to forget...you left me dumb*struck.
lead me to the rightful path, please.

if you can, let out the truth. *

please let her be okay.

***

everything's a blur..
i don't like the sight of her on the hospital bed with needle and tubes...



god, hear my prayers*

this is the time when everything doesn't go my way.



signing out,
-wenn-

butterflies on roses `

classes were boring today. no physics as the teacher's absent. still on her raya hols i supposed. lol. and it had been raining all morning. imagine that.

tsk. ahh well. i don't mind the rain, but why on monday morning! crappy-ness.



got back chemistry, history and math paper.
80 for chemistry.
66 for history.
flunked math. screw it!
sighs.

the day could get alot worse.

got home. grandma, brother and cousins were not at home.
and when they came home.
the first thing they tell me is that grandma is sick.

apparently, this morning, when she defaecated, there were blood.
and, she's making herself all worried that it might be cancer.
...
she's making me worry, and her hands are chilly.

*prayers*



hope that everything'd be okay...

signing off,
-wenn-

p.s: thanks for the ice creams, smuaxies.

exams' stresses.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*



somtimes, i wonder...is this all i get?

signed out.`

suicidal.

magic`

have you ever wondered how life will be like if everything was much simpler?

or.

have you ever tried listening to your own heart of what you really wanna know in you?

so there you go.

it really amaze me of how well i truly know myself.

well, i know i'm sensitive.

that's first`

i won't deny that fact, really.

it's scientifically (genetically) proven.

lols.

right then.

so yeah, i'm sensitive.

i mean, sensitivity rocks.!

yeah right. as if. -.-

ppl going around saying things 'bout you without actually thinking twice hurts more.

but then again, i've thought back...

i did the same to others as well.

so here we go again, back to scratch.

is it really karma?

or.

is it just me?

being all obsessive with this whole "what goes around, comes around" thing-a-ma-jig.?

god knows.

but of course i know i should know it myself.

sadly, not really.

i thought that i do, but everything is always held back every now and then.

what do you know bout being sensitive.?

okays.

it's not wrong really being sensitive. it's like sixth sense, you get what i mean?

when you have that feeling in you so sure of something is gonna happen, it's there.

but it is NOT always accurate / right.

*snaps*

stupidity strikes once again.

it's dumb to get all furious over things like that.

and i'm talking bout myself. me.

very vulnerable i'd say.

oh well.

sorry for everything.

i have feelings too btw.

you have to care and respect my feelings if you want me to respect yours.

simple as that.
abc. do re mi. 123.

:DD

at the same time, i'm sorry for those out there that i've hurt before.

didn't mean it in a way to harm or hurt your feelings.

words just came out wrongly at the wrong time.

i take that back. seriously.

as of for now.

my comfy bed's waiting for me.

gotta bounce right into it and daze off much.
(:


*******

in another hour.

it's none other than, cutie pie jesslyn's birthday.

wish you a splendid birthday, babe`!

may your wishes yet to be fulfilled.

HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY!

p/s: formal meeting tmr.

=/

formal attire.

screw it.

ah well.`

xoxo.

signing off,

-wenn-

+ clueless +

.i.n.d.i.f.f.e.r.e.n.t.

i know i'm different.
but...

why is it so hard for others to accept it?



i just feel so out of place.

but i guess it's all just me.

2 more days.

she's leaving.

nothing will ever be the same.
i know it.


it's only me and memories of yesterdays.
i'll miss you.



sorry of the lack of updates. was busy during the weekends. gonna blog 'bout it more when i'm free-er and when i'm in the mood to blog. sorry`

xoxo.

signing off,

-wenn-

+ my angel` +