[ butterfly kisses and apple pies ]

so, another day is about to end. sun is setting. reddish-orangey painted sky. atmosphere is quiet. apart from the "soothing" screams coming from my cousin behind me. -.- talk bout calm. yeah right. as if. *tsk tsk*

time passes real fast. it's already 7++pm. hmm. come to think of it, it's kinda freaky. when all of a sudden, u think back of memories when u were in primary school. and then now in secondary. i still can't forget my first day of school in secondary. lolx. it was hilarious. and at that point, i was still the innocent one. *big googly eyes look* and now. i'm in form 4. next yr is the yr that will determine my future. well in fact, it's starting from this yr. it's kinda stressing to know that whatever we're doing now will be the choices we're bout to make for yrs to come. *scary* but i guess that's life. sighh.

):

sometimes, i wonder. why can't life be simple.? but then again, it's l.i.f.e. it's meant to be this way. every single action we're taking right now is a choice. we choose to do what we want and what we don't want. but it's the choice we make to know whether if it's a bad or the right one. i guess only we, ourselves would know it. i know at this age, we're supposed to study our ass* off and earn all the knowledge that we are possible to fit in our puny brains. but apparently, we need to have fun too.

i was told i don't have a life just because i'm one of those "study freaks" but i do slack off at times. i can be a rebel too. family backgrounds can play a huge influence. parents want us to study hard, get good grades, get enrolled and admitted into good schools or colleges. and the worst thing of all. NOT to fall in LOVE.

why not.?

*cries*
)':

i know that i'm too young. okay, i admit it, i was young. but...
i wasn't naive. i mean, love is a really beautiful thing. it's the closest thing we have to magic. hey, everyone can't deny the fact that falling in love gives such a pleasurable feeling on the inside. knowing that someone cares, having someone to hold on to, someone who wants us for who we are regardless of whatever mistakes we'd done in our past, someone to share everything to... gosh. it's endless.

i know my boundaries. i know when i'm supposed to be serious and when i'm not supposed to be. i can't be sure of who i'm gonna be in the future. but i know that strolling on the path of the journey of life is tough. it gets tougher with rocky ends and bad weather. but i guess it's not how far our journey is but having someone who's willing to strive on those rocky roads with you.

it's true that we'll fall, get cuts and bruises along the way. in the end, i'll know it's worth all the pain. i know when darkness falls, you are there to light up my way with the lantern in your hands to illuminate the path for me just so i could get a better view where i'm going and not trip and fall flat on my face into poops again. that's why love is there.

*

you promised me bout forever. i've been thinking. is there such a thing as forever? eternal? until i met you*, i believe so. you made me think bout it that way. you've accepted me for who i am. being with you, it makes me understand myself better. i was afraid of being who i was because of everything that had happened. i don't have the confidence to fall in love even though my feelings towards you are strong. but somehow, i don't have the determination anymore. still, you didn't mind, you said that you'll always be there to reassure me once again. at that moment, i realize i can be who i want to be. thanks for all the time you were there telling me, redirecting me.

but you have to know, it's not easy to forget to past. i'm trying to forget. it all takes time to heal the wound. though it may heal, but the scar will always remain there. i know this time, the relationship between us will last. i am not sure how sure i am as much as i say i do, but my instincts inside tell me so. i know you'll always be the one and only. i love you. you make me believe in eternity. you make me trust on forever. you opened my eyes to see a better view of the sceneries in life, you made me want to live life to the fullest with you around. thank you so much. i know you'll always be my guardian angel in life.

*

i flunk life. i made the biggest mistake.

xoxo.

signing off,
-wenn-
* i'm not the one i used to be anymore; goner and believer *
-forever his-