I'll be leaving for UK in another 10 hours. ): I'm feeling rather scared. There are so many 'what ifs' going on in my head. I really hope I'll fit in there. I'll miss everyone here. & I'll definitely miss you* more... Bye bloggie, will log back in again when I'm in UK. *sighs*
Stop asking me how I feel about going over to UK, people. Honestly, I dunno. I dunno what or how I'm supposed to feel. Well, I don't feel anything yet, but I'm sure those nerve-racking feelings will come soon enough since there's only 3 days left before I'm gonna fly off. *sighs* I hope I don't cry too much...
Christmas came & went just like that. I don't find it special, in fact, it's just like every other days to me. Stayed at home the whole day on Christmas & spent my time watching movies at home on the laptop. I think I watched 5! lol! Started off with Made of Honour, The Love Guru, The House Bunny, Definitely Maybe then lastly Connected. I'd say it's pretty fun & peaceful. I didn't have to think or worry 'bout anything; I laughed most of the time. It's a good thing I guess. (: That's the amazing part of watching romantic comedies, they never failed to crack me up & make me forget about all the pain. ;p
*
I'll be going to pasar malam later with him. I dunno what I should feel about that too. I think it's gonna be the same as usual but just a tiny bit different, I suppose... What am I saying, it's never gonna be the same. But oh well, this is life, what's meant to happen has to happen. I just need to accept just the way it is.
*
It's the 31st tmr. Wow, time sure flies. I really wanna go for the New Year countdown but dad said he's tired & all. *sighs* I didn't even go for last year's... & I don't have any other friends to go with, they prolly have plans. Even the cousin wanna go, but there's no one in particular who can really bring us there. How pathetic. *sighs* I hope things'll turn around tmr. *fingers crossed*
Sometimes, you gotta be tougher than you really are. You will not know what's gonna happen next. & sadly, the news can just slap you right across the face with no sign of warning.
I know I'm a lil' late to say "SPM's FREAKING OVER!" now. But, heck, I'm too happy to actually blog about it & I rather use those free time to go shopping & hang out instead. Those sleepless nights for the big exams were really worth it. God knows what's gonna happen when results' out next year. Oh well, it's not the time to fret 'bout exams now...
*
It's almost a week since I finished my papers; been shopping & going out alot lately. & I finally got the stuffs that I anticipated for! A new phone & a laptop! *jumps for joy* :D I got a new Sony Vaio & it's the princess pink edition! I can bid farewell to my old Sony Ericsson Z530i & welcome my new Sony Ericsson C905! *squeals* My parents can pamper me alot sometimes... *sigh happily* lol!
Cousin's back from Australia; stayed over her place for 5 days. & I'm missing her laughter & her jokes. Hopefully I'll get to spend some more time with her before leaving for UK. =/ this is definitely gonna be tough. I'm excited to start a new life being in college & everything, learning new stuffs; but there's a part of me that I'm worried of what my path is gonna be... I suppose I just have to wait & see.
I hate my boyfriend sometimes.
When I thought freedom is within my reach, it had to drift few inches further to remind me that I still have to stretch a lil' more to grasp hold of it. Pathetic-ism.
Trials started on the 2nd of September.
Just when I thought it was all over after 2 long weeks of sleepless nights & paper cuts, everything had to start from scratch tomorrow.
Half down, another half to go.
Fingers-tightly-crossed.
i can be rather contradicting at times.
the boyfriend is out with his friends. i guess this is what i can do while waiting for him to get home.
*
it's funny & strange how when i said that i've sorta decided to delete this blog but yet i still log back right into blogger.com & post this entry. i guess feelings do build up when you've wrote down so many happenings on an online diary. the place where you pen down almost everything in your life & express those untold feelings in the heart. my blog is the place where i've wrote down a numerous sorts of feelings of bitter & sweet. this blog is the 'person' that i've shared most of my feelings to apart from the boyfriend & my closet friends. a blog is also the heaven that allows me to spill everything out during my sad & happy moments without anyone feeling irritated or intimidated by all my ramblings.
well, alot had happened recently. arguments with the boyfriend, my mom & the sudden swelling of my knee. it's tiring. those mixed feelings are like tearing me apart. but of course, things are okay now. (: & i'm really glad that it's all over.
the thing with the boyfriend was horrible. i guess both of us hurt each other deeply. i felt & still is feeling bad for what i've done. maybe if i hadn't got into the car, none of that would have happened. but i supposed god works in his mysterious ways to let life goes as it is to be filled with ups & downs. to teach us to be wiser & more philosophical. although things happened, but i'm glad everything is all over. it taught me a great lesson to appreciate you. i learn to love you deeper & care for you more. it's not the same as before but i know it's a new beginning. tho' i have to admit i have doubts on myself whether if i can cope with it but deep down, everything is worth it. i love you, baby.
as for my mom, she's been a great companion & i love her much for it. tho' i did not tell her the sad things that happened to me even if i wanted to. it wasn't necessary for her to worry stuffs like these about me. she had enough in hands to make her stressed out & intensed. i don't wish to add any extra burden on her. i realised that it's harder to keep things quiet & hide away my feelings from her. but that's what i had to do.
as for my knee. oh only god knows what's wrong with it 'cuz i dunno either. i'm going for treatment & i'm unable to go to school for 2 weeks. it's such a long time & i can't afford to miss any classes before the upcoming trials. well, i guess at least i can study more at home.
with all these put together, it was more than enough to kill me! it was suicidal. but i'm glad i had mun, leon & chooming encouraging me to cope thru it & stand strong. i was touched by their words. those words said reminded me of so many things. they played over & over again in my head. it was as tho' the msgs are already recoreded & saved in there. it always bring fresh tears that sting my eyes. i'm really grateful to have you guys at my weakest of point & my darkest of sorrows. but i supposed words obviously can't describe the gratitude of it.
***
anyways, enough of those. all of a sudden i felt emo. it's amazing how i could type all those out without crying anymore. (: i've learn to stand strong or at least i think i am standing strong. lol! day's been boring. been stucked at home studying & just watching dramas in between resting hours. i miss my friends in school. come to think of it, i'm getting rather tired of studying but knowing me, i still need to have a book there with me regardless whether i'm resting or not. i need to read something at least be it novels, model test papers or magazines.
friday is the 8th. it's gonna be the 16th month soon. i really hope mom would let me go out on that day despite that i can't walk that much. but i really wanna walk for a bit & be out from the house. & what's worse, i couldn't get the bf anything, being stucked at home & all. maybe something simple will do, hopefully he doesn't mind. wanted plan a surprise but seemingly i don't think it'll work now. oh well.
yay. the boyfriend is back. well, toodles for now. gosh, i've been rambling away so much that i don't even rmb what i've just wrote. this is the weirdest entry, i guess it's because it's past bed time. feeling a lil' wuzzy.
signed out *
& i thought cempaka was efficient.
so much for that. the fuse-box or whatever you call that thing was burnt ytd (that's what i heard) & because of that, the air-conditioning in that particular block is down.
what's worse, my class is in that block! for the love of god, just get it fixed or get a substition like maybe a standing fan in each classroom to comfort us (students & teachers) it's so hard to concentrate with the heat that's burning your skin & making you sweat while doing your exams. i was sticky even before 12pm. & by the end of the day, my butt was literally soaked. damn disgusting. it's as though i cannot tahan & peed in my skirt before reaching the toilet.
we pay so much for the school fees, nearly $6000 per sem. & this is what we get. wth.
i so wanna sue you.
man boobs are 'moobs'. or so i've been told. i did a search on google & believe it or not, they are really called moobs & atrociusly disgusting.
okay, so physics came & went. surprisingly, it's not as bad as i thought it should be. i think out of all my sciences, physics is the subject that didn't make me stress as much as it should compared to the others. but oh well, it's over & i just have to keep my fingers crossed that results will turn out well. i wanna improve. duh, of course, i don't wanna get degraded or something after working so hard.
i just wanna know that i'm capable to do well & so, that proves that i can work extra harder to gain a higher grade which i hope i will for the other upcoming exams. i have english & math exams tmr. it's not so bad, right? i just have to worry for math i supposed.
& ppl or i'd say my loveable friends, please stop calling me "england" or "you're made from england" or any other phrases with "england" in it. i'm so not made from england. -.- just because my name is yingwen doesn't make me england. now i realised, i have such great friends.
*
today is the 20th may. yeah i know that all of you can read the date from the header & i know that most of you know what day it is today but heck, i don't care. i'm gonna say it either way.
today is the 20th may. & so it's my great daddy's birthday. although he's not here in m'sia but we will have a belated celebration when he gets back this friday. good dinner in some delicious & expensive restaurant, bill under your name. :D
HAPPY 49th BIRTHDAY!
lolol. you're one year older! :D
ehh, & i sent like 2 text msgs to his number in nigeria last night exactly at 12am sharp m'sia time wishing him happy birthday. & guess what, the msgs couldn't be delivered. -.- blame the operator or whatever for not receiving the msgs. i'm still a good daughter for wishing wishes that are not delivered.
---edited---
i went through my archives & i just realised that my blog is already 1 year old. well, 1 year old & 5 days to be precise. it's so hard to picture that i've actually typed all these entries on my online diary for the past one year. it spooks me knowing how fast time flies.
it scares me in a good way i hope, knowing how my time of the month is always exactly on the 18th morning.
the first week of exams is over, leaving me with 4 more subjects to kill next week. just hope that i can survive the cramps for these few days & pray to lord that i don't faint from the pain.
don't you just love physics.
*scratches* i have a stupid itchy mosquito bite on my left arm. -.- annoying!
anyways, spm study skills is next week. eek, definitely not something to be happy about. presentations & all those stuffs. i hope i'll survive. *fingers-crossed*
speaking of which, i have bio presentation to do on that day itself as well -- on stage! =/ kill me!
***
i have sejarah powerpoint presentation to do & yet i'm blogging here. so much for concentrating. -.-
p.s: headache still hasn't subside. i wonder what's wrong with me.
on msn:
me: mee(mom), headache laa! )': *whines* there's monthly test tmr somemore!
mom: maybe too much stress. stop studying & go to sleep. it's okay to fail monthly test.
- yes, that's my mom. encouraging me to fail. - wouldn't you just love her?
am i really stressing THAT much?
United Kingdom. If you have lemon, make lemonade.
Omg! I'm leaving today. Time passes way fast than I expected. It's 4.15 pm now & I'll be heading to the airport in an hour. *sighs* It's a good thing, I guess...
Walter accompanied me for almost the entire day today. Awww, I'm missing him already. ): *boohoo* worse, 8th of Feb is next thursday & it's the 10th month! )':
***
Anyways, yesterday in school was pretty fun. I mean, there were no classes. All of us were in the hall for CNY assembly before the long break from 1/12 - 10/2. So yeah. :D it's all laugthers & jokes. Not forgetting, picture taking as well. -.- Can't think of anything else to babble about. Gotta go now.
Perfectly Candid by Siew Kheng. -.-
This trip better be a good one.
It may seem as though it's the beginning, but I never thought that it's already soon to be the ending.
Updates! My gosh!
Sorry for the somber lack of updates, people! Goodness. It's been forever, I know! I never thought that there are people who actually read my blog apart from waiyi. Aww, I'm so touched. *sniff* My life now is either bundled up by assignments & hwk or non-stop tuition 24-7. wth! no life laa, me. =/ ish-ness.
Tommorow's the last day of school before the 10 days CNY hols. [ 1/2 - 10/2 ] but it's up to 12/2 for me since I'll be so fricking away for the UK trip. -.- *grumble* ehh, c'mon laa, it's CNY & yet I have to spend it there. What is wrong with the world? *what has it gotta do with the world, anyways* -.- urgh!
& the bad thing is, tonnes & tonnes of holiday work makes the holidays worse. Thanks to the teachers that is. sigh. C'est la vie. I need a break.
***
School's been fun, I guess, so far at least[?] but oh well, not that there's much to complain about it. I'm so not ready for the trip. I feel excited yet disappointed. How contradicting can I get? Sheesh.
***
I came to realise [ very long ago ] that the Earth, well, the whole galaxy will be sucked into The Black Hole & everything will just vanish like that. It's creepy! However, all of these will happen & it's all due to human's action: polluting, open-burning, global warming etc. So, people, be clean! Care for the world! *heal the world*
Questions never fail to run through my minds. I mean;
Where will we be after we die?
Do we float around?
Are we gonna be in hell or heaven?
WHERE THE HECK DO WE GO?!
I so don't wanna die young.
Just when you think it's the end of the world & nothing is on your side, just look up towards the sky. (:
Omg! I dunno how I should start my post but I am one of the lucky winners in Seventeen Magazine Dec 2007 issue for the Lulu Castagnette Paris Perfume!
Well, I don't really know what it smells like but it says that...
it's a sparkling opening with a combination of jucy Cherry, zesty Yuzu[?] & Bergamont[?] revealing a feminine bouquet of Jasmine, Wild Rose a& Nashi Pineapple. -.-
Oh-kay, screw that. Who cares about the description! All I care now is that I am one of the LUCKY winners! Sorry if this post offends you & I'm not braggin', seriously. It's just that I feel so crazie ass happy that I actually won something through a sms & win contest for the first time in my 16 years of life! phew. :D :D :D sorry laa.
Anyways, the UK trip has been confirmed. Will not be celebrating CNY in M'sia this year. ): I'm sorry waiyi. I really really wish that I can spend CNY with you, but I guess luck is not our side. sighs. I'll miss you... but I'll be seeing you on Sunday, right? :D shall be shopping! Can't wait to see you.
Need to get my ass back to hwk-ing. So much for TGIF. *pouts* ):
Just when I thought that everything is going my way.
I should really consider about not putting my hopes way up high. My butt seriously hurts from that fall. ish.
I can't believe it, I'll be spending CNY (first 4-5 days) in UK(with family)! I'm not sure if it is something to be thrilled of or disappointed. It's 50-50 of each. Going there to survey my soon-to-be-college for A-Level next year.
sigh. I really thought that I'll be able to spend CNY with waiyi this year since it'll be my last in M'sia. ): & now, down with this.
sigh . sigh . sigh .
I dunno what else I can do.
sigh . sigh . sigh .
