[ will you catch me if i fall?` ]

i guess i've fell down hard.

flat on my ass.

hurting and throbbing in every direction.

but the thing is...

my butt is not the place that's causing the problem.

it's the heart.

it's aching.

.terribly.

i've made a mistake.

well, not exactly a mistake.

but i wasn't being considerate.

you were always there for me...

through thicks and thins.

laughters and tears.

smiles and frowns.

joys and sadness-es.

well, though it's only 2 months.

it seems a long time to me.

from the thought of it, i know people who reads my blog will go "cheh, 2 months only what. not gonna last."

but i'm gonna prove them wrong.

i'm gonna prove my mom wrong.

i know it's wrong to have a second boyfriend...

but...

when the right time comes...

you can't stop it from tripping and falling straight in love.

i know i'm only 16.

i know it's way too young.

i know there's a long journey ahead.

i know studies come first.

i guess certain things can't be control...

i'm no goddess.

i'm no miss perfect.

i'm no angel.

i'm just me.

an ordinary teenage girl,

finding its way back to love.

finding its way back to herself.

finding its way to a new me.

finding a way to forget my past.

finding a way to unleash myself for who i wanna be.

me.

i've released my anger at you.

i've throw my tantrums.

you were sweet enough to call just to check on me.

just to make sure i'm okay.

but i didn't appreciate it, instead, i shouted back at you.

throwing my miss princess temper through the phone thinking that it was somethin' wise enough to do.

but i guess i was being a brat.

i didn't realize how much i hurt your feelings after you abruptly hung up.

tears just rolled down...

my throat went dry, i can barely speak or utter a word.

eventually there came a "sob"...

my heart aches...

now i know how much you mean to me.

i'm sorry for everything.

i'm sorry for how i gave you tears when you want me to be happy.
i'm sorry i can't be perfect.

i'm sorry for not being a good girlfriend.

you tried so hard just to cheer me up...

you were always there...

you were my strength when i was weak...

you were my shoulder to cry on...
you were so understanding...

you were my eyes when i couldn't see...

you were the one who gently dries my tears from my face...

but this time, you're not here...

all i can do is just to hug my pillow tightly and let the tears to wash my sanity.

...the only thing i can say now is i'm really sorry...

i'm sorry, baby.
please forgive me.

-iluvu-

by the strike of midnight. it'll be 2 months.
2 months and still counting on.

xoxo.

signing off,

-wenn-

+ silhouette of a broken hearted +

lost in a maze,

drowning in tears;

path with no traces,

i love you, dear.