never wish upon a star

just when i thought that things are finally turning around, reality had to hit me in the face just so i can feel the pain all over again. i don't understand why fresh tears still sting my eyes. do i even mean anything to you anymore? there is a difference, & i can feel it. no matter how many times you tried to convince it, it's not helping any longer. everything you said used to mean alot; it makes me feel right but i don't know about now. i want to feel the way i felt before, but you're making things so hard for me. maybe time do wear things off. i guess i can't hope for things to turn around or even hope that things will be how they were supposed to be.

i shouldn't have put up such high hopes, it hurts from falling. & i really don't wanna fall again. stars are meant to stay there & not to be reached, because i know no matter how hard i try to reach them, there are worse consequences that i have to face.

Irreversible

is it me? or are things starting to change in a blink of an eye(okay, maybe not just a blink)? but still, things aren't the same. & it's bothering me in a way that makes me feel so insecure. i don't feel the warmth that i used to feel before. i'm falling deeper into an endless pit. i wish time could just stop. needless to say, for the past few days, i'm always depressed. but all i can do is just fake it with a smile & let the world know that i'm okay. am i really okay? that, i can't even answer it truthfully. sometimes, i wonder if god is working his mysterious ways to put me through all these? to be frank, i have enough of everything. the people. work. & life. i just wonder when will it end.

Shitty People

i feel so depressed. ): i wish things were better or at least i hope that she's not so problematic. but i guess, the more i hope & wish for something, the harder it'll be fulfilled. i may be a happy go lucky girl from the outside at times, laughing things off & not get pissed off that easily. but on the inside, honestly, i don't even know who i am. i'm numbed from the pain that i've went through; i guess you can say that i'm immuned to it. however, being a sensitive girl that i am, scars will always bleed & nvr heal.

*

everything is written in god's book, no matter how hard you try to prevent or intervene it, it'll still happen. it's fate. what fate can do is not in our control.

Incantations

*scratches* i have a stupid itchy mosquito bite on my left arm. -.- annoying!

anyways, spm study skills is next week. eek, definitely not something to be happy about. presentations & all those stuffs. i hope i'll survive. *fingers-crossed*
speaking of which, i have bio presentation to do on that day itself as well -- on stage! =/ kill me!

***

i have sejarah powerpoint presentation to do & yet i'm blogging here. so much for concentrating. -.-

p.s: headache still hasn't subside. i wonder what's wrong with me.

on msn:
me: mee(mom), headache laa! )': *whines* there's monthly test tmr somemore!
mom: maybe too much stress. stop studying & go to sleep. it's okay to fail monthly test.

- yes, that's my mom. encouraging me to fail. - wouldn't you just love her?

am i really stressing THAT much?

major headache.

i have a sudden urge to delete this blog & create a new one on wordpress.com. so depressing!

***

it's the o8.o4.o8.
the day that marks a year.

- loves.`

=/

i feel so bad skipping school.
):

i wish i knew more.
i wish i wasn't this way.
i wish that i don't have to pretend to like you.
i wish that i do not need to hide my inner feelings.
i wish that you can just get out of my life.

i wish, i wish, i wish ... stupid!

***

oh oh, happy april fool! :D

***

i'm having a flu. =/